Stupid-head Waffles of Death: it’s not you, it’s ME?

I am seriously ridiculous with following recipes. I cannot even believe myself sometimes. Do I really have to get WORSE, before I can get better?

Today was an ultimate low. There was a pretty brutal showdown between myself and this recipe; name calling and everything. In the end I learned that fighting is not the answer. Can’t we all just get along?

I literally ruined FOUR double-batches of waffles. That would technically be EIGHT batches! The worst part is that this is NOT a new recipe. It’s actually one that I’ve made a dozen times, and my family really loves it. My girl has been begging for it for 3 days. I kept putting it off, as life tends to get in the way sometimes. I finally made a super-duper unbreakable promise to her that we would have them for dinner tonight. So I absolutely could not give up. No way. I even had her help me mix up the first batch.

...an hour and a half later...I was dumping the 3^rd batch down the drain and starting over; one last time. I had to grit my teeth, take a deep breath, and FOCUS. I was going to do it right. That was it. There would be world peace, and everyone would dance in the streets.

I COULD NOT BELIEVE myself, when I screwed it up a fourth time. Impossible! I really was starting to believe I was hallucinating.

So. I did not win this battle. And I came away from it pretty bruised and beaten. But. As they say, the war's not over yet. There is a bit of sunshine in the end here, though. I did at least make them “look” pretty. And the kids didn’t know the difference. I think all they care about is the blueberry sauce anyway. I thought they tasted alright, too, but through the sweat and tears and blood and pain it was hard to enjoy the moment.

can you hear them laughing at me?

They may or may not have been delicious. I may never know. But, I do know, that the recipe is a good one…and I have lived to fight another day.

Here’s a play-by-play of tonight’s death-match:

Me vs Stupid-head-waffles-of-death-recipe

Round 1:

Recipe: beat eggs until light and fluffy. Then beat in rest of ingredients.

Me: separate eggs, beat whites until fluffy. Add ingredients one at a time; mix after each.

WRONG!...baking soda wouldn’t mix in. floating around in chunks. Also too runny. Didn’t even try it.

1 point for recipe

Round 2:

Recipe: same as above.

Me: separate eggs, beat whites. Remove whites from bowl. Add ingredients to clean bowl, one at a time; mix after each. Add whites last; fold in.

WRONG!...batter was super foamy. Waffles sizzled and deflated as cooked. Very eggy tasting.

2 points for recipe

Round 3:

Recipe: same as above (BOoooring)

Me: beat eggs until light and fluffy (don’t separate this time). Add rest of ingredients; mix after each.

WRONG!...batter was very runny. Dripped straight out of waffle maker.

3 points for recipe

Round 4:

Recipe: yep…same… AGAIN! (why mess with what’s working?)

Me: (feeling defeated and exhausted)…OK, fine! We’ll do it your way! (…but do I? No. Of course not) Add all dry ingredients to bowl. Lightly beat eggs with fork, in separate bowl. Add eggs and oil to dry. Mix…Forms a dough ball! Then add milk, slowly….

Wrong!Wrong!WRONG!....and the winner is: RECIPE!!!!

The last time I did figure a way to patch it up good enough to end the torture. The batter was way too thin and runny, so I added more flour to it. That helped to thicken it up, and keep it in the waffle maker, but it made the waffles slightly less flavorful, and more dense. They were adequate, just not to my standards.

The moral of the story is:

FOLLOW. THE. RECIPE!!!

So, I hope you can do what I could not.

Here’s a link to the recipe. GOOD LUCK! It’s a fighter…

(It’s actually a really easy, delicious recipe…I’m just insane)

Waffles with Blueberry Sauce

 

By the way, the blueberry sauce is amazing! And I didn’t screw it up. I also used the leftover cream cheese frosting from the cinnamon rolls. Sometimes I can be brilliant.

Related Recipes:
Waffles with Blueberry Sauce
Frosted Cinnamon Rolls (use the frosting for the waffles!)

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